The Gladiator Book I 2nd draft 07-11-2011

jesus, spurrio and the money changers.

i am telling you the truth, no master is greater than his slave, no master is free of his slave.

The Gladiator — Book 1

The Gladiator was exhausted, but was still able to bring his shield up to parry the triad as though he were reaching for an apple from a bowl of fruit. Though the body was depleted the mind was disciplined, he did not panic. This block had been in time, but he was slowing down. He felt it absorbed into his forearm then glance off of his shield, instantly he countered with the gladius in his right hand bringing it down and across at a 45 degree angle, lurching forward with his right foot after the swing, too late, the Retiarius was far removed. He circled around to Spurio Pompili ‘s left side, feigned another thrust, stepped back, then thrust the triad at his face with lightening speed, Spurio Pompili was barely able to avoid it with a combination of a rising block with his shield and bending his knees while ducking his head under it. Close! There was no counter this time, he was too exhausted. The two combatants circled each other warily in sand that burned under the scorching sun. Spurio Pompili , sweating profusely was losing the battle of attrition. He was the heaver and more powerful of the two, but was less agile. He was well accustomed to suffering the wounds of combat under the intense heat of Roma’s sun, he had been trained well. Discipline and indifference wove a sturdy pattern in the Gladiator’s psyche, but training also taught that the body had its limits and Spurio Pompili knew that his was fast approaching its own. Sweat stung his eyes and he could no longer ignore the screaming cramps in his legs, making them ever heavier by the second. The Retiarius feigned to his head again which brought his shield high again, but the effort was enormous, his left shoulder burned. When he dropped the shield too low a point of the triad found its mark again piercing the forehead, making it bloodier. He was locked in a downward spiral toward a slow death of a thousand cuts. Spurio would make a life or death decision, on his feet, with blood burning his eyes and cramps setting in. He would likely regret either action, but he had to decide and training took over again, he dropped the shield, it fell with a muffled sound, pushing into the sand like a stone in the water.

Without his shield Spurio Pompili was free to move about, but was exposed to the Trident. Now the retirarius swung the net at his head, forcing Spurio Pompili to duck his head, but now he saw an opening as the retirarius’s follow through exposed his rib cage and Spurio did not hesitate he jabbed his gladius at the open ribs like it was a piece of meat. As the blood poured, Spurio Pompili hoped he had broken a rib, but he had only bruised it. The retirarius feeling as though all of his ribs were broken brought both elbows in to protect the badly punctured ribs. It was involuntary leaving him momentarily rooted, exposed to Spurio Pompili ‘s sword, but he was too exhausted to follow-up. Instead he moved around to his right, keeping a safe distance while desperately trying to take control of his breathing. It was something he would not regain until one of them was dead. The Retirarius however seemed already to have endured the worst of it as he cast the net over Spurio Pompili’s head and moved closer with the Trident while the net was still in the air. Spurio Pompili sliced at the open net, collecting up harmlessly to the ground and in one move parried the Trident at the last second. The retirarius deftly spun back, reached his net on the ground, and returned to face Spurio Pompili squarely. The near misses were taking their toll.
Exhausted Spurio Pompili moved back, circling to his right trying to buy time, but the retirarius had much different intentions, he pressed the attack. Stepping backward Spurio Pompili felt the net wrapping around his left ankle, calmly he lifted his leg stepped in and thrust his sword, but the Retiarius moved back out of range and deftly countered with his three-pronged spear. Spurio with his shield long since dropped could only block it by jamming the point of his sword in it between two of the three prongs. It was a close call and he could feel the clinging of the three-pronged sphere against the iron anklet of his left leg. Spurio clenched his free left fist and delivered a crushing blow to the Retirarius’s jaw. The Retirarius staggered back and dropped his spear. The instinct was now for Spurio to plunge his gladius deep into his opponent’s chest, but fatigue from an hour of combat beneath the scorching Roman sun made him hesitate. It was fatigue that forced him to drop his shield, and it now intensified allowing the swifter Retiarius to roll on the ground toward his trident and come up with it standing. Spurio was as disheartened as he was astonished. He had to retrieve his shield. Facing his opponent squarely, in a left forward stance with his sword firmly in his right hand Spurio shifted to his left, the Retiarius would not so easily allowing him to. This time the when the fishermen threw his net around Spurio’s left ankle it latched on, and he pulled it straight. Spurio staggered but caught himself. But the fishermen buried the center prong of his Trident into Spurio’s straightened left knee. The excruciating pain electrified him, but it lasted only long enough to intensify his pain. Spurio looked at the blood gushing from his leg that was bent backwards and fell back hard between his shoulder blades. He lay on the ground in the position of a man being crucified. He was going to be skewered. The Retiarius moved to Spurio’s left and was standing between him and his shield. He moved in cautiously for the kill, making sure that Spurio was too injured and fatigued to counter him. Satisfied he began his approach, but when he moved in Spurio saw something that made him fear both life and death and doubt all that he had till this moment believed and known. It made him lift his head and through distraction and fatigue his training held sway, the gladius was still in his hand. So, as the sky behind the Retiarius began to drop out of existence Spurio had to make a split second decision, was death the greater disaster or was it life. When a black lightning bolt sliced across the late afternoon sky it seemed that death, was more welcome, but a second after when whole black chunks of the sky were ripped away showing only starless space behind, that was most uncertain. From his back Spurio brought his sword across his body and the Retiarius lost his left leg above the knee, on the backstroke it was the right leg that ripped away, just below the kneecap. Spurio never saw that which he had done in less than a second, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of the sky falling away as though the earth like a room in the sky, whose walls were crashing down revealing the total darkness behind them. They may as well been made of papaya. Then he put his head back down, and as a light sprinkle of blood dappled around his body he turned away and shut his eyes tight hoping that the darkness inside his lids could protect him from the darkness on the other side of them.

Lucilla couldn’t unclench her eyes, fully expecting that when she opened them the Retirarius would have skewered her husband to death. She never would have reopened them, except for the faint cries of her husband’s name. Pompili ? Pompili ? She could believe that he had won again even less than the crowd. Slowly, cautiously, not to be deceived she opened them focused. Her jaw shuddered as she strained in the distance to see the unthinkable, her husband, alive. She was in no condition for rational thought as tears streamed down her face and drool unabashedly dribbled from the corner of her mouth, her love for her husband matched only by her pure joy to see him alive. She brushed back tears only to confirm the vision. Then as he lay there prostrate on the ground about the length of her thumb writhing in agony her joy became enmeshed with his pain. His pain, it was an altogether new experience for her, to him for that matter. The joy was not subdued, but added to by his pain becoming hers. She could see her husband’s body and feel his pain, but she could not see the darkness he had just seen, could not know that for him everything had changed, and changed much more than if the Retiarius had just killed him.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Lucilla %%%%%%%%%%%%

She was on her feet, moving down to where they were taking her husband. Her only thought was to rush to her husband, to tend to his wounds. She needed to comfort and take care of him, though even that was selfish of her. But for now the Romans and iron gates still separated her from him. Yet Lucilla blamed Jesus not the Romans for her husband’s slavery, her separation from him, and the horrendous tortures he endured, suffering which she could not even think about, along the brutal trail that led him from intellectual discussions on to spiritual enlightenment in Judea, to a bloody gladiator pit in Rome. Now, she was pleased that he had been crucified; now she felt he was deserving making her less guilty of it. Even in death it was Jesus not the Romans separating her from her husband. But just one more victory and that would be no more, Vettius had sworn it personally and contracted legally. Just one more victory and her husband was again a free man to be with her forever. That sweet thing, she and her husband together, it was so close that it was almost real, she could almost touch it, but with tears still streaming and her body wracked at once by both agony and rapture, as she watched her husband screaming being carried away she knew that for now forever would have to wait.

Moving down she kept her eyes only on the stones beneath her feet. She bumped shoulders and slipped in between one faceless person, then another. Moving in and out of the light as she descended, men stared at her as she passed unaware. Someone else moved her body passed the debauched fanatics intoxicated by wine and blood of the games; she was merely a passenger in it.

She was completely in the shade now though the air was still hot having been cooked by the sun all day. A fight broke out between two men gambling, but it sounded vicious like lions that had been fighting to get earlier. Others gathered round and the violence spread. She stared hypnotically at the conflict before her, unable to comprehend it. She had never seen such violence, never seen her husband be so vicious, had never dreamed he could kill a man. She had never seen her husband engage in violence at all. Except for that one time in Judea, when he overturned the tables of the money changers, and scattered their coins about floor. With all the violence erupting in front of her she could see it in her mind’s eye as though she was back in Judea, as if it were happening. She was in both places at once.

The bankers or money changers created a special silver coin, called the half shekel of the sanctuary. Even the poor had to have some of these coins to pay their temple tax. So, the monopoly allowed the money changers to charge whatever they could and they gouged the market for all it would bear. Spurio, Lucilla and the people gathered there were outraged. Finally, Spurio took action, turning over their tables and letting their coins spread around.

Spurio was a giant who towered over all men in Judea. Lucilla relived the pride she felt watching her strong, good husband doing the right thing. Then she observed a man slight of build walk over to where her husband was. When Spurio saw him there he stopped like a statue. They stood silent for only a second, but what seemed to Spurio like a minute. Then the frail stranger asked, “Brother, what are you doing there?” Spurio let the money changer’s coin box slip out of his large grasp and fall with a clung to the temple’s stone floor. Latter Spurio would say that never seen such peace in a a man’s eyes, never before nor since.

Spurio did not refuse to answer, still stunned as he was by the utter peace in those eyes. So, the stranger continued saying, “Judge them not, for they have harmed no one.” “But they (the money changers) are stealing from the poorest Jews, on their holiest ground, no less”,replied Spurio at last and in desperation. “They are evil”, others persisted. And now the fury was directed at the stranger. Lucilla watched intently as he waited calmly to speak. His build was less than medium, and his frame looked as though it were accustomed to fasting. His long hair was clean but unkept, she could see his beard, but not his eyes. She would not see those until the end. She could not see the calm in them, as Spurio could. And that is what he was looking at when the stranger patiently instructed that no one is good or evil and that nobody could possibly be victimizing anybody.

“I tell you the truth that everyone acts in service of their own perceived needs. Everyone acts selfishly. The money changers, attempting to maximize their profit on every single coin, as were the poorest Jews attempting to pay as little as possible, for each coin. To each his motives are moral, but each acted so that need his needs would be met first, each acted equally selfishly in service of those needs. And we each act equally selfishly, we each act completely selfish in the service of our needs. Even the martyr is totally selfish; there is nothing else he can be.”

That was how Jesus came into their lives. It was how Jesus came in between their lives.

Unlike his wife Spurio understood Jesus’s words as he spoke them. He wanted to say of course why couldn’t I see that. And that is how it would be for all their days together. Jesus didn’t teach Spurio, rather gently reminded him of things he had already forgotten. Lucilla never forgave Jesus for defending the money changers or calling the poor Jews selfish. But before it was over there would be more to not forgive Jesus for than Lucilla could’ve ever dreamed. Spurio knowing that too continued to love her unselfishly just the same.


She was at pit level now, the clanging of slaves in their shackles, grunting gladiators clashing, and from down the long corridor beneath the seats she could hear the anguished sounds of men in pain. In her heart, there raised the sickening certainty that somewhere down there, her husband languished in agony. She wrapped her slender fingers around the bars that separated her from the long corridor, which separated her from her husband. She struggled to peer into the darkness and around the corner to glimpse a piece of Spurio, or isolate a fragment of his agonizing cries from the ensemble, the vain attempt making her heartbreak even more bitter. She remained there, hopeful and heartbroken, until there were no more slaves clanging in the shackles, until the sounds of men suffering subsided, until the day waned and she finally realized her husband was no longer down there, there was no one else down there. She was alone.

Pensively she left the arena, and walked alone down the cobblestone street. It was nearly dark now, but all of Rome seemed to be out, still intoxicated by wine and blood of the games that ended hours ago. There were more faceless people to not look at, and more lusting men to not see. She paid less attention to the outside world than she did even her own body, which was now she was vaguely aware hungry for not having eaten in more than a day. Nothing else registered until the street opened it into a large courtyard, the far side of which wedding was taking place. It reminded her of Jesus’s wedding to Mary Magdalene.

Spurio dragged her all the way to Galilee for the event. They got there they didn’t know soul except for Jesus. Where Spurio was perfectly comfortable with strangers in next easily, Lucilla was uncomfortable and defensive. She remained that way until she had some wine and saw the bride and groom. When Jesus saw Spurio, he came over to the table where they were sitting and gave him a warm welcome and introduce them to his new bride. Lucilla was less quick to make opinion of Mary Magdalene, but she did confess later to to Spurio that they made an attractive couple. She didn’t confess that she also hoped that once married Jesus spend more time with his wife and less pretending to be the Messiah. Then he would leave her and Spurio alone. They stayed there and made friends with Jesus’s students, Peter, Paul, and Judas. Judas was a lecherous pig she thought. He stared at her openly at the table in front of everyone.

It was also the first time she had heard Jesus teach, when someone asked him about the nature of sin. Jesus even sitting and the stature had appeared to be less than medium, now seemed something more than that. She paid no attention to what he said, but was aware of something inexplicable there, a kind of thereness there.

She remembered how as the night wore on it seemed almost to be her wedding night. Her normal pensivness was eventually as always worn away by the sheer joy of being with her handsome husband, the most handsome one there was and she could still taste the delicious wine mixed with his juices as they made love untill the morning. Inspite of Jesus, inspite of herself, Spurio made her deliriously joyful. Now consumed in the agony of missing him, it was as though he made her life unbearable. And yet she would have to bear it until Spurio could win one more match, if he could win one more match. She looked away from the wedding and making her sorrowfully way down the narrow street alone, and got lost.

She had taken the wrong road by which to leave the courtyard and didn’t notice until it was well past dark, didn’t notice it until the Romans nearly ran her down. Immersed in her sorrows she couldn’t hear the horses galloping down the narrow cobblestone. But as she entered into the crossway, they appeared as if instantaneously. She lept back but not in time to avoid a violent encounter with the hairy front shoulder of the onrushing beast. It spun her around in midair threw her hard to the cobblestone on her hands and knees. The second rider cursed at her as he rushed past. She crawled a way as best as she could, but it was slow it was the most physical pain she’d ever experienced in her life. Her knees were black and blue in her palms were bleeding. She leaned back against the wall curled her legs up like a child and cried. She cried not the deep sobs of anguish, but the gentle ones of despair. Sitting there, knowing not what to do she closed her eyes and saw this time not Spurio, but Jesus.

After the wedding Jesus and his student’s and Spurio and Lucilla went to Cana. It was there at the height of the insanity of Jesus that Spurio believed in him the most.

On the way there Lucilla noticed that Jesus walked with rather than if front of his students and seemed of lesser build again, he even tripped over things and she realized he was even clumsy. How could such a painfully flawed man call himself the Messiah she wondered? She was yet to realize that he never did. She was too busy judging Jesus to notice anything save for the way that he bewitched her husband.

But as Jesus began to teach she noticed that he seemed to become big again. Jesus was speaking to a sea of people, maybe 5000 of them, instead of placing himself on top of the highest mound he stood in the valley bounded by several hills. From the lower position everyone could see him and hear him as well.

That seemed strange to her for she was far enough away that she should not be able to hear him, but she did. His voice was like his stature when he taught, bigger. But it was more than that, Jesus was simply too far away to be heard at all, yet she heard him speaking loud and clear and through hearing him clearly though that Jesus was insane. That is what she was remembering sitting on her knees that ached staring at her palms that were bleeding.

She waited there, waited for the bleeding to stop, waited for the pain to subside. But just like waiting for the return of Spurio, it was hopeless. When the rain began falling she got up to find her way home.

By the time Lucilla entered the apartment that Vettius had provisioned for her, she was drenched in cold. Roma, was the center of the world, the hub to which all roads lead, but here in her dark apartment on the top floor corner of a stone building Rome, disappeared and the anguish of her broken heart was all she had fill the emptiness. She walked past the fireplace, which she had never seen burn to light a candle on the bedside. She hesitated at the edge of the bed, staring as if not sure what to do, as one would test the temperature before entering a bath. Gradually, ineptly she curled her tiny body into its center and stared blankly at the flickering shadows in the room.

The last time she could remember curled up in bed like this, it was with her husband’s big, safe body behind her. She remembered gently caressing the hairs on his arm about her waist, and feeling is comforted by his presence as she was frustrated by Jesus’ message. “I try, I try” she explained,” but try as I might, I can’t get it, I can’t understand. Jesus is the tiny mad idea”. Then her husband, as though he were moving a pillow, effortlessly turned her to her back, brushed the hair away from her cheek, “you will, you will” he said in a tone that was as gentle as any she had ever heard, and then she looked up, catching his eyes, that revealed a certainty, and the seriousness that his voice did not. That view of Spurio she’d had a thousand times, had it burned into memory. His dark eyes were white, with tapered brows riding a finely sculptured ridge that balanced a nose of the gentle Hebrew variety. He was the one who understood Jesus better than anyone. And then they made tender love. She didn’t care one bit about Jesus, but oh god, how she needed Spurio now. But on this night she wasn’t reassured, nor did she make love to her husband, she could only writhe in pain beyond her comprehension, but Lucilla had no idea that she was just beginning to learn to hurt.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Begin Jesus %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Just as in the beginning of the universe, there was not a soul to see it. What began as just a tiny eddy barely able to stir the dust in the desert outside of Cairo, became a vortex that carried the burning sand to the sea, there it turned to clay and then stone until finally the stone became flesh and living bone. The spirit made the body seem real. By the time the body was first seen by John who was baptizing on the east bank of the Jordan River it had walked thousands of miles under a scorching sky without a drink or the even a thought for one. When John looked up and saw Jesus standing on the bank he knew instantly that this was the light that he had seen, and after seeing it, John the Baptist never baptized again.
John a self-righteous man had heard many confessions and done many baptisms by then, saying “confess your sins and God will forgive them.” But John the Baptist believed in sin and so he condemned it. He had no idea what true forgiveness really was or that sin was not at all. John watched as Jesus stepped into the water and came towards him. “Lord I cannot hear your confession as you have none to make,” John said. “Nor does any of us,” said Jesus. Then Jesus took John’s hands and put them on his head and went under the water. When he came up again, John understood that he did not understand. Jesus smiled and he watched as Jesus walked out of the river and up the bank, then out of sight, leaving John with the peace of God which he had never experienced before. Then John the Baptist walked out of the river Jordan and never baptized another person again.
Jesus went on to Nazareth to find Mary and Joseph who had lost their only son during the slaughter of King Herod more than 30 years before. They had remained childless since, unable to have children, living still in the insufferable sadness of what could have been, and the crushing guilt for not stopping that which could not have prevented.
When word reached her of King Herod’s mass execution order she took up her son and fled into the sparse woods outside of Nazareth. She hid there for two days. Heat and cold. She ignored the raging thirst in her own mouth could not ignore the suffering of her child. She had to get him water or he would die. So, she put the child in a basket and carried it boldly back into the city, to the water well. There were two Romans on horseback in the street and as the child lay silently in the basket she began to draw the water. Then a horrible realization came over her, that she had brought no jar to carry the water away with. So, she had to expose the child to the light in order to let him drink. It was a fatal mistake. Two Roman soldiers with their swords and cloaks already bloodied from prior hours of infanticide closed in swiftly. She clutched the child desperately to her breast, but one of the soldiers violently straightened her arms and the child fell from held them. Miraculously she caught him in the air and fell back hitting her head hard against the well with the child in her lap. The soldier, as though he were standing at a leaf on the ground in order to pick it up thrust his sword at her child.
The blade skewered her left arm went through the child’s heart and didn’t stop until it had cut her through the womb . The last thing that Mary remembered before she fell to the dirt was the faint sound of a limp child splashing into the water far below. She should have died there, instead the deep gouge through her womb barren.
Since she’d never seen the child actually be killed it was easy to pretend that some miracle had occurred. That she had not heard a dead infant splash into the water. Over the years she told herself this till she almost believed it was true. But she never drew another drop from that well.
Joseph suffered from a far more pernicious of self-attack, he blamed himself for not having been there when the Romans attacked his wife and son. But it was Joseph who drew the Romans away in the first place. It was he who hid a bundle under his coat and ran off in the other direction to draw the soldiers. It worked. When the soldiers discovered that it was aught but a log that he concealed from them they beat him within an inch of his life and that beating gave his wife and child time to get away. But the world, this world, takes away everything eventually.
Jesus felt their deep pain and was moved. He was still in Galilee when he told Mary that she would soon see him. She in turn told her husband Joseph that “our son is coming home.” She did not have to explain it to him. They decided to prepare a feast.
Jesus was followed there by Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Him.” These then were the 12 disciples.

When Mary and Joseph saw their son for the first time they recognized him instantly, it was as though he had simply left for a while and now was returning. Jesus had many ways of easing peoples anguish. For Joseph and Mary he used the simplest, he let them no longer think about what had happened. Whenever he did this it always worked. For as Jesus himself explained, “nothing in the past can hurt you now.” Jesus did not remove the memory of what had happened, he simply removed the parents habit of thinking about it at all. Being in such pain made them willing enough for, Jesus to give Mary and Joseph a gift which others would have to earn, the gift of now. To them nothing of the past was forgotten nor the future hidden, but for the once grieving parents rest of their days when were lived fully in the joy of the only instant that really existed, the instant which is now. For Jesus who was remembering a body remembered too the myriad of methods the human mind had to attack itself.
At the feast Mary and Joseph were in such bliss that they didn’t even notice when the wine had given out, but one of Jesus’s disciples did and said to him, “the wine has run out.” “What am I to do about this,” Jesus said? Then Jesus smiled and got up.
The Jews have strict rules about ritual washing. So, there were six large water jars there, each one large enough to hold between 20 and 30 gallons. “Fill these jars with water,” Jesus said to his disciples and they did it. When they were done Jesus paused for a second and then said, “Draw out the water and give it to the people.” They did and to their astonishment the water had turned to wine. The other guests did not see this but remarked it was the most delicious wine they had ever tasted. Not only the disciples, but a beautiful young girl named Mary Magdalene had seen this. They were all amazed especially Mary Magdalene.
A few days later, in time for the Passover Jesus and his disciples and Mary Magdalene traveled to Jerusalem. They entered the Temple there to a raucous and great commotion. When they moved close enough to the noise Jesus could see a huge man, the biggest man he had ever seen, who had made whip of chords and was chasing the animals away. Also had overturned the tables of the money changers and scattered the coins on the Temple floor. His disciples tried to persuade him out of it, but Jesus walked right up to the big man stopped a few feet away and waited. When the big man noticed him Jesus said, “Spurio my Brother, what are you doing there?”
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Begin Jesus and Spurio %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Mighty Spurio was so disarmed by the tiny Jesus that he froze in place, going at once from fearsome to comical. But he stammered and stopped there for seconds not because the words wouldn’t come, but because he didn’t care to say them once they did, words had no meaning. Standing there in front of Jesus, there was an instant when Spurio forgot about his body and remembered the peace of God instead. It was a peace that he more remembered than discovered, but once remembered was known almost in full. So, despite the awkward outward appearances, Spurio was in that second far more enlightened than confused.
Jesus knew that Spurio believed himself to be a righteous man acting in a righteous manner, but just as John the Baptist he was confused about what righteousness was. Namely that there was no such thing. Jesus was aware of the man’s wife his wife scrutinizing himself as well as he was aware that there was much more to the big man then just his size.
Then the Jewish authorities appeared and wanted to seize Spurio who had said this is a temple, but you have turned it into a den of thieves. The Jewish authorities demanded that Spurio perform a miracle to prove that he had the right to do such a thing. But it was Jesus who answered them reciting the Scripture which said, “My devotion to your house oh God Burns in me like a fire.” The Jewish authorities looked at Jesus for a long time, then said amongst themselves, “who is this man who recites our Scripture?” Then they looked at Spurio, but walked away without laying hand upon him. Spurio relaxed now, stood looking at them until Jesus put his hand on his shoulder. Then Spurio turned to see Jesus smiling up at him and smiled back down at him.
“How do you know my name”, Spurio asked Jesus. “I have not known you before, nor have you known me.” Then Jesus squeezed Spurio’s shoulder and answered him saying “Ah Spurio Pompei, you are a good man who wanted to be a physician, but for his father’s sake became a merchant instead. You who wanted to heal now give away your wealth and fight injustice wherever you see it.” Jesus walked away from Spurio toward the steps ready money changers had just fled. Then he turned and came back toward Spurio saying loud enough for everyone to hear, “you now heal the world, finding that which was wrong and putting it to right.” when Jesus drew near to Spurio again he said so that only he could hear, “I have always been with you for all of your days and will be for all the ones to come. No one can be alone with himself, for wherever you are there I am too.”—***I want to wright something earlier in the story so that this has some significance***—Spurio was amazed, but still at peace with what Jesus was saying for he remembered and therefore understood.
Now a large crowd gathered around them and was filled with much agitation and discussion. ”Who is this man,” they demanded of one another. But no answer was to be provided there so they asked Jesus, “who are you? ” Then one of them said, “Spurio was chasing the money changers from the Temple, but you said to him let them be.” And they accused Jesus of defending the money changers.
“I tell you now what I told him, Judge them not, for they have harmed no one.”
Angered the crowd drew near to Jesus the disciples and Mary gathered around Lucilla came near to Spurio. The crowd was loud and accusatory, but they did quiet down and asked, demanded of Jesus that he explain himself. So, Jesus did. As Jesus was waiting to speak, Lucilla was still sizing him up.
“But they (the money changers) are stealing from the poorest Jews, on their holiest ground, no less”, they replied. “They are evil”, others persisted. And now the fury was directed at the slender stranger. But Jesus gently corrected that no one is good or evil and that nobody could possibly be victimizing anybody, saying:
“I tell you the truth that everyone acts in service of their own perceived needs. Everyone acts selfishly. The money changers, attempting to maximize their profit on every single coin, as were the poorest Jews attempting to pay as little as possible, for each coin. To each his motives are moral, but each acted so that need his needs would be met first, each acted equally selfishly in service of those needs. And we each act equally selfishly, we each act completely selfish in the service of our needs. Even the martyr is totally selfish; there is nothing else that he can be.”
The point of view of Jesus was unexpected and unacceptable to all save for Spurio. Inexplicably, Lucilla was especially critical Jesus because had acted in defense of the despicable money changers. But her husband patiently corrected that Jesus was simply not judging anyone. But even amongst the disciples themselves and Mary Magdalene it was Spurio alone who understood that good and bad were only what we called it.
And Spurio had more shocks in store for his wife, inviting Jesus and his disciples, and Mary to stay with them. “Please, you and your friends come and stay with me at my house, for I am a wealthy man and I have room enough for all of you.” Upon hearing this Lucilla jumped quietly out of her skin. But Spurio had not consulted her so, Jesus the disciples and Mary went and stayed there a while.

The idea of spending the night with these strangers and Jesus repulsed her. If asked she could not have said why, indeed she never pondered the question. But she had judged Jesus as a defender of the money changers and anything to do with him from then on was refracted to the lens of that judgment. That was exactly what Jesus was going to tell her, though she would not hear it. But Lucilla only thought that she was repulsed by the thought of Jesus and his disciples spending the night under her roof, she had no idea that she was truly threatened by Jesus, threatened because Spurio’s attention to him detracted from his attention toward her. But Lucilla a lot to learn about what a true distraction Jesus was going to be.

Spurio watched Jesus, at the feast and drinking wine afterwards. To observe and hear Jesus with the eyes and here’s of the body could only be misleading he thought. Spurio realized that if you could understand Jesus at all then it must be with the mind. For Jesus was the answer to every question, to receive one just had to ask. Jesus was constantly trying to get through, one simply had to let him. Just now Spurio was attempting to do precisely that. Oddly he felt himself unable to formulate a thought about which to ask the question. He was distracted slightly by children who had been playing at a distance but now drew closer to the adults. He felt the gentle breeze ruffle the table cloths and wrap around him in a comforting manner. He had provided a dinner in which the wine would not run out Jesus had no need to perform miracles here. Yet as he struggled for the question which eluded him, it was a small child who provided the question to the answer, it was the answer from which all other answers sprang. From a child, Lucilla’s young niece came the question about creation. For no seeming reason she asked, “Jesus where do we come from?” As Jesus began to answer Spurio could never have believed how different he would be when he was done.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% begin the tiny mad idea %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The bible says “In the beginning”, but there is no beginning or end or now, there is only always. Always is forever and God is everything. The Son of Man began in heaven in a state of eternal bliss and perfect oneness with God. The oneness was so perfect that there was no place where one began or the other ended, oneness so perfect you could have no thought that was not thought of God, you could not imagine anything that was not God. There was no difference save one, that the Father is first cause, He created the Son. Yet was no thought of separation, you were one with God who created you. We are not separate from God, we are not part of God, each and everyone of us is one with God. God is everywhere and everything and we simply say God Is.
Then into the mind of the Son there crept this thought. Not a real thought partial thought that was not a thought of God, it was more of an idea, a sick insane idea. The thought, the question, was, what would it be like to be apart from God? The Son waited for God to answer, but he didn’t. It was not a question because there is no such thing as separate from God. So, God not willing to make that which was unreal appear real, did not answer.
The non-answer from God to your non-question, you mistook as rebuke. You mistakenly believe that God is angry with you for leaving him, this is original sin, for which all mankind feels deep, subconscious, abiding guilt and expects severe and merciless retribution for a crime that never was. The Son of Man becomes the prodigal son.
This is where Satan comes in and says, “I’ll help you, I’ll show you a place to hide” Satin is not a demon or a devil, Satan is not real, rather is just trick of the mind. Satin is the part of your mind that makes up and protects the illusion of separation from God. Satan makes the illusion seem real. Then the Son of Man, terrified, running scared from an angry pursuer that doesn’t exist, actually makes a deal with the devil himself. It is Satan, the Satanic part of the mind of the Son of Man that made the world seem to exist for him to hide himself from God. That is how the world came into being. How silly, could the Son really hide from God? But burdened by original sin and mistaken guilt the Son of Man sold his soul to Satan to deny the reality that God is.
To protect the mad dream Satan must preoccupy Son of Man with more illusions. So, the false world that we fill with cruelty, inhumanity and bloody wars, with friends and enemies, with money changers and Romans. All of them, all ought but distraction. So terrified is the Son of the Father that he runs to the devil to hide.
So, all the world all that you think you see with the eyes of the body comes from but a mind turned inside out and spilled onto a world outside of itself. A world outside of everything that’s real. A world outside of God in Heaven. A world that is nothing but a dream that we but make real with judgment.
The Son of Man is asleep and heaven dreaming the dreams of separation. Each lifetime you think you live in this world but a nightmare to a dreamer in heaven. To awaken from the dreams the Son must learn forgiveness. Not the kind of forgiveness that the world knows, but true forgiveness that knows the world is not. But it takes many dreams of many lifetimes to train the mind to ignore Evil and listen to only the Holy Spirit. And in the myriad of dreams and lifetimes in the multitude forums of joy and horror they bring, at one time or another we each play the others part, we are each master and slave, we are each predator and prey, we are each everything there is to be many millions of times over. The father has sent me to gently wake the Son from his dream, to ease his burden, to reduce the number of his nightmares, to free the master from the slave, and I have already done it. I have already undone all that was never done. But follow or ignore the word makes no difference, everyone wakes up, everyone makes it out, everyone already has. “
Wake to make it out of the dream. As Spurio seized on those words, on the symbol those words represented, he felt a burgeoning sense of purpose, and wondered openly if he could make it, and make it this time.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% end tiny mad idea %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Spurio never asked Jesus if he could follow him. He just assumed that he could, and he could. But Lucilla was stunned when he told her. She fell and had to catch herself on the table, and Spurio had to help her into the chair. Such a little girl he thought as she sat legs together hands twisting and writhing on her knees as she gently she gently sobbed. “It’s not as though you never see me again,” he said taking her tiny hands in his. He was as miffed by her severe reaction as she was by his desire to leave her. She tried to be angry with him, but when she looked up she could do aught but put her slender arms around his neck. He picked her up from there carried her gently to bed.
Spurio was patient with Lucilla as she protested with all her might. But there was no way to stop him. Spurio was leaving with Jesus no matter what the costs or consequences. And even had he known then just what those consequences would be, still Spurio would have followed Jesus.
The following morning Nicodemus came to visit Jesus. Nicodemus was a money changer. He had not fled when Spurio came through the market and heard Jesus speak. He came inside where Jesus was resting from the heat of the day and spoke alone to him. “Jesus we know that you are a spiritual man and speak the truth,” Nicodemus began. “We want to help you spread the truth all across Judea,” he continued. But Jesus perceived his treachery and interrupted him saying, “Nicodemus I do not judge usury, nor do I sanction it.” Then Jesus stood up and put his arm on Nicodemus shoulder and asked him, “Nicodemus was good does it do a man to gain the world and yet remain in it. Profit and loss are simply opposite sides of the scarcity coin designed keep the attention of the Son of Man on worldly things instead of the infinite treasures in heaven where no one has any need of scarcity or want.” But Nicodemus persisted saying, “Jesus we have not just wealth, but influence. Influence with the Jewish authorities and the Roman ones. We can do all manner of things to get our way.” Then Jesus stepped back from Nicodemus and looking him directly in the I said, “I am aware of all that you think you can do to me. You may to all manner of things to my body, but you cannot touch me for I am not a body. You can cause me no pain for the guiltless mind cannot suffer. Yet must you try, yet must it be done.” Nicodemus has caused much suffering in his life yet never felt remorse once. But just now he did feel pity for Jesus, for what he would do to Jesus.
Spurio watched Nicodemus leaving his house. He walked in quickly and found Jesus. He knew what Nicodemus wanted, but Jesus said with a light heart, “Worry not big man for nothing is being done only undone.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% End Jesus and Spurio %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The next morning Jesus, his disciples, Mary Magdalene, and Spurio left Jerusalem. Jesus had been asked to return to Cana in Galilee, where he had turned the water and wine. The people there remembered how he had turned the water into wine and wondered if he would try to heal a young girl sick possessed with demons. “Jesus,” protested Thomas. “It will take too long. By the time we get to Galilee the girl will be dead.” But Jesus smiling replied, “Have faith Thomas and she will be healed in this very moment.” And just as Jesus said that the young girl’s demons left her. And there was great joy among them as well for they believed and knew that she had been saved.
Later, along the way a Roman centurion with his men coming from Jerusalem approached them rapidly on horseback. He was oblivious to Jesus’s miraculous ability to cure, he was there to seize Jesus at the behest of Nicodemus the money changer. Spurio counted 20 mounted soldiers as they circled threateningly Jesus and his followers. The disciples and Mary were frightened and moved towards Jesus to protect him, but as Spurio anticipated Jesus brushed them side. Spurio was calm, he had already seen Jesus perform miracles, he already knew that nothing could happen lest Jesus let it happen. And so it was that when two soldiers put their hands on Jesus they stopped just before touching him. The horses stopped the dust stopped everything came to a dead still. And Jesus looking up at the captain said to him. “You are captain Aurelius Dalmaticus Marcellus, you act in service of the money changers, but you distrust them. So, why then do you do their work?” With that the soldiers stepped back from Jesus. And the captain was amazed, but when Jesus told him, “you have a young son afflicted with the fever,” the captain nearly fainted. “Go home and attend your son and leave the work of the money changers to the money changers.” With that the man dismounted and came towards Jesus. When he got close Jesus put his arm around the man’s shoulder looked him seriously in the eye and asked, “do you believe I can do this?” Without delay the man said, “command me and I shall do it.” Then Jesus looked at the man smiling and said, “by your faith at this very moment your son is saved. ” The captain wept at Jesus’s feet, but Jesus lifted him up and told him to go.
Later that day they entered a town, and Jesus tired out by the trip sat on a wall, while the disciples went ahead of him. Spurio, who walked slower than them because of his huge size came up to Jesus and sat next to him. Jesus rested his hands on the top of the wall while his feet dangled off the ground, but Spurio more leaning than sitting, was too tall to get his feet off the ground. Spurio looking at the dirt cupped his hands and was about to speak when Jesus said, “did you walk these past miles frightened by the threats of the money changers?” Spurio smiled, he was not surprised that Jesus could perceive his thoughts. Then Spurio said, “my father was a wealthy and powerful man. He was unafraid of the Pharisees or the chief priests. But my father always feared the money changers.” Jesus put his hand on Spurio’s big shoulder and with a squeeze said, “Spurio you who wanted to be a doctor a healer, you are so close Spurio. You might just make it this time, but you still have an important lesson to learn, that you cannot save the world, not even yourself.” Then Jesus came down off the wall and went toward his disciples. They being lead by Mary Magdalene with a bucket of water were coming towards Jesus. They reunited as though they had been separated from him for year rather than just a few minutes. Jesus stroked the side of Mary’s face and then hugged her before he drank. Then he touched all the disciples as they gathered round, on the arm or the shoulder or even the top of the head. Spurio noticed that Jesus had done it to him too. It was Jesus’s way of saying, I acknowledge you even though I am not looking at you speak directly to you right now. Spurio was not trying to fit into this group, but slowly stealthily they were growing on him. They were becoming part of what Jesus would call each other’s special relationships. Part of an especially dangerous trap.
Then they left that town and as the evening drew on found themselves at last in the cool dork aloneness of the desert. Spurio was tired, his big legs had carried his large body far and it felt good to rest them as he leaned back against a stone. He fell asleep briefly and when he had waken Jesus had just returned with his arms full of logs. He dropped them into a pile and then knelt on the ground and started putting them one at a time into the fire. Spurio didn’t exactly notice when it got completely dark or when Jesus was all he could see. He didn’t notice when Jesus went from chit chatting about when we would arrive, to teaching about healing. He didn’t even notice, that he didn’t notice the weariness in his legs any longer. All he noticed was what they all notice, was how Jesus became so much bigger when he was teaching, how they were completely absorbed in the now with Jesus, and each felt that he was speaking only to them, Spurio was sure of it. “When you are healing,” Jesus began, “remember this.
The acceptance of sickness as a decision of the mind, for any purpose for which it would use the body, is the basis of healing. And this is so for healing in all forms.” ACIM
“Notice that before I heal them I ask, do you have faith and I can do this? Then after I heal them I say by your faith I have cured thee. Who then is the physician?”
On the next day they arrived at Joseph and Mary’s house. They were the agonized parents who Jesus healed by returning them to their natural state, their true state of bliss. It was there that Jesus performed his first miracle of turning the water into wine to celebrate his becoming their son. This time he would create a feast to celebrate his marriage to Mary Magdalene.
Jesus did not wed Mary Magdalene in a way that the world understood. The ceremony took place when she anointed his feet with oil. Spurio was outside when he noticed the sweetest scent of perfume oil he had ever smelled. It floated out from the window and drew Spurio irresistibly inside. When Spurio Wednesday and he saw Mary Magdalene ever said caressing Jesus’s feet with her hands. Then she if put the end of her long beautiful hair into the oil and anointed his feet. None of them there realized that from that moment on Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married. This made Joseph and Mary extremely joyous.

Judgment is what the mind made to separate us from other brothers and sisters and to create a different experience that is not true.
different experience that is not true.
Judgment, coming from the mind, also turns within and attacks us, creating self-hate and unworthiness.
Instead of judging ourselves for having sick thoughts, realize it is just sickness, and turn to the love of Jesus in faith to show him your sick thoughts.
They may come up more often when you have decided to allow Jesus to do this healing work. Do not judge self.
%%%%%%%%%%%%% Jesus and Spurio on the open sea %%%%%%%%%%%%
After the wedding Jesus stayed in Cana for three days. Then he and his new bride and the disciples, and Spurio left Cana and went to Haifa. There they boarded a large boat to Sidron. For there was a great feud in that land and Jesus said he would go there to try to end it. When they left land it being in the middle of the day the single sail filled up fast in the afternoon heat. The mood was lighthearted. They were all happy to be done walking and alone together on their little island in the sea. Jesus and Mary danced on the foredeck while Thomas and Peter fished with nets off the rear deck. Everyone laughed when Thomas caught one. As he showed it to them flapping around in his hands they said, “don’t you see we have the greatest fishermen in the world right here and pointed to Jesus. Don’t you remember how he turned four fish into 4000. So, laughing Thomas through the fish back into the sea.
Spurio relished in and shared mutual joy of the moment, even as they teased him mercilessly for his ungainly bulk which could find no comfortable place to rest. The boat seemed much too small for him. Also after about an hour had passed he was becoming visibly sick. This was the reason, rather than his size, that Spurio stayed out of boats most of the time. Some of the disciples remarked that, if Jesus wanted to perform a real miracle then he should cure Spurio of his seasickness. But Spurio focusing his site back on the land said, “there is no need to annoy Jesus with little things, I will cure myself”. They all laughed again.
Jesus sat down and leaning back against some barrels offered to help Spurio. But Spurio waving his hand and said, “I am fine.” With that Mary Magdalene sat down in front of Jesus and he put his arms around her as she leaned back into him. Spurio lay down on his side of prop himself up with his right elbow, at the rear of the boat. From there he was both a watcher and a participant of the goings-on on the little island in the sea. Now what he wanted to was to observe his thoughts in the same way. He saw Mary Magdalene curl up and lean sideways into Jesus as he stretched out completely on the deck. He fell asleep to the rocking of the ocean and the raucous sound emanating from the pure joy of being with one another, of being with Jesus.
Spurio woke under a canopy of cacophonous colors that came all the way down to the water in 360°. The waves upon the sea seemed to be reflected in strips of clouds across the sky, bathed in orange and purple. And as the sun settle down somewhere in the West a blood red moon was rising, filling the eastern sky. Jesus, Peter and Mary Magdalene were cooking fish on the fore deck, the sent wafted back and deliciously tickled Spurio’s senses. Everyone woke and ate. The dinner was delicious.
When he was finished Spurio went to just behind the mass. It was dark by then, but the moon illuminated a huge swath of the sea and it seemed that their boat was flying on it like a cloud. Spurio looked to the east and was astounded. Where was the land? For all his worldliness Spurio had never been on the open sea away from land. It was amazing. The immense expanse of emptiness defeated his imagination. Lost in its awesomeness he was unaware of the goings-on in the boat, it took him a while to notice Jesus standing beside him. Jesus was looking up smiling, “you have never seen anything so grand have you Spurio,?” “Ha ha, drink it all in the entire experience Spurio, for the next time you see this shall not be half so grand. Nor half as much again the time after that.” Now it was Jesus that Spurio studied intently, wondering what could he mean by that. Jesus perceived his confusion and answered saying, “the grand new vista or experience is an example where the mind has no prior experience with which to compare. The mad mind searches the past frantically for reference with which it can explain the present experience which it cannot. The awestruck mind is speechless. You think that you are awestruck by something outside of you, yet it comes from aught but within you, and splashes on to the outside world like dye into the water. Just like the sunset at which you marveled earlier it is unreal. At times like this evil is speechless and unreality may be perceived. It is at times like this that the Holy Spirit can come in. But evil is quick, evil must have you believe that the world is real. So, the next time you have the experience, just beneath the surface of your cognizance evil lurks and replaces the second experience with memories of the first. This could keep real what is unreal and the Holy Spirit out.”
Spurio looked back up at the sky, then out to the sea, and finally back at Jesus, trying to take it all in. But before he could even get started Jesus gave him even more, saying, “And even the next time is an illusion just like tomorrow and yesterday Spurio. When the mind thinks about yesterday or tomorrow if thinks about that which does not exist. And when the mind thinks about what it thinks is now, it considers that which has no beginning and no and no between. So, it does not think at all. But the greatest illusion the mind is under, is that it thinks that it thinks at all.”
Jesus perceiving Spurio’s confusion yet added to it again. “There is no yesterday today nor tomorrow nor even this very moment, there is only always and the difference between always and now is everything.”
Spurio was no longer thinking about what Jesus saying, for it was too much for him all at once. Instead an odd thought came into his mind and it occurred to him that Jesus must have been alone with him for quite some time now and the rest of the disciples and Mary Magdalene would soon be coming to him. But when Spurio looked toward the bow of the boat he noticed that nothing had changed since Jesus had come to him. Even the moon had not climbed in the sky nor had even the sail made a ruffle. The whole world saved for he and Jesus seemed frozen. “Don’t be afraid Spurio, I’m just trying to show you how what is now for them is not now for us because there is no now, there is only always.”

Then Jesus turned and went to his disciples at the bow leaving Spurio to stare in wonderment. Exhausted he sat and leaned against the bulkhead. He hugged his one knee and left the other straight out and looked up at the stars.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% In Sidron %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Jesus said, “ pay your taxes if you must, but do not levy them upon the Son of Man.”
Whenever any of us looks at the world we look at the world through our beliefs and our concept’s, there can be no exceptions. This is what happens when we observe the world through the eyes of the body and interpret with the mind that thinks it is a body. it is the mind of judgment.
The time is coming in and is already here when by the power of God’s Spirit
There was no one on the shore when they landed in Sidron just south of the Saida Citadel. Jesus led his disciples and Mary Magdalene, and Spurio inland to the place in the mountains where the tribes were at war.
The war between the tribes was not like the war of armies. The tribes came into each other’s villages and killed each other’s wives and children, destroyed each other’s crops and animals. They threatened not just each other’s lives, but everything the other held dearer than life.
As Spurio looked down upon the Village in the throes of a vicious attack he overheard Simon Peter plead with Jesus to “Please stop the carnage, you and heal the injured her, and bring the dead back to life.” But Jesus looked at Simon Peter and told him the same thing he told Spurio before. “You cannot save that which is not Simon Peter,” Jesus said. “This all of this is aught but distraction. It is the purpose of the Io to keep the Holy Spirit out. It is not by good deeds that you get to heaven, it is by judgment of any deed that keeps you out. No deed done in a false world can be real, but by your judgment you make it seem so. This is what you must all learn, not how to save the world rather how to forgive it and to forgive it with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit does not forgive as the world does. The world recognizes that one has done wrong to the other, that the wronged and the wrongdoer are separate and unequal. The wrongdoer acknowledges his guilt, and then the wronged will grant a pardon to the guilty one there by setting all that was wrong to right. But the Holy Spirit recognizes that no one is wronged, no one is guilty and that no one can done anything to anyone. Our bodies may do all manner of things to other bodies, but none of us is a body. Only when this truth is realized can true forgiveness begin, only when all forgiveness has been given can we awaken from the dream and make it back to Heaven.”
Spurio watched the disciples as they look questioningly amongst themselves. It was difficult for them to deny the seeming realness of the world. A world dressed up in all of its splendors and horrors to seize our attention, to seize us for all time. The Io can paint the world, but only we can Judge it to make it seem real. This is what Jesus was teaching. Then Jesus took the disciples and Mary Magdalene, and Spurio down to the village.
When they were in the village fighting was done, but the chaos remained. Jesus put his hand on the stomach of a young man dying from a sword which had stabbed him there. The young man grabbed Jesus his wrist as he did it but when Jesus pulled his hand away from the man’s side he was healed. A few of the people who saw this were amazed and they told others about it. Then Jesus walked to the dead body of one of the others had been killed by them. The limp body lay face first in the dirt with the club that had been used to kill him still buried in his skull. Jesus knelt, put his hands on the man’s head and in a moment the man got up and knew everything that had happened to him. Then the man tried to leave but those in the village wanted to seize him for he was one of the others. But Jesus knew their word and told them in their own language to let the man go so that he could return with his own leader so that they might make peace. Jesus pointed to the top of the hill between the two villages and told them after the sun does rise again we shall meet there. Then Jesus bade the man go. And even as the man was leaving Jesus was healing the injured and raising the dead.
Because he had saved so many of them Jesus now had great authority in that place. But one of their elders admonished Jesus for letting the enemy go. But Jesus said to him in his own words, “where were your men to protect the village by?” Jesus did not wait for an answer, but responded saying, “they were away attacking that the village. See not the spec in your brother’s eye until you remove the plank from thine own.”
When the sun had risen on the next day everyone from both villages climbed to the spot Jesus had pointed to. Each remained on the same side as their own village as Jesus and the disciples and Mary Magdalene and Spurio met the elders on the ridge line between the two. Spurio and the disciples studied Jesus and the goings-on, but understood it not. Jesus could speak all languages, they could not. But they all sensed great hatred between the tribes each for the other. If it were not that Jesus held great authority then surely he would be dead in the tribes locked in bloody conflict even at this moment.
They were all frustrated and fascinated over the several hours that Jesus worked a miracle seemingly greater than bringing the dead back to life. He was bringing peace to a region that had no none for the lifetimes of anyone there on the hill. But when all the elders threw down their swords and a pile and hugged, Spurio didn’t have to understand the intricacies of the language or the doctrine to realize that something amazing had happened. But Jesus said it was as natural as the sunrise.
On the hilly return to the coast the disciples and Spurio could not contain their curiosity. They implored Jesus to tell them how he had done what he had done. Jesus teach them saying, “I don’t know how I did it.” And he tapped Simon Peter on the four head as he said it. Everyone laughed. They walked and when it was dark made of fire in a hilly crevice and ate. Spurio could see the fire light Jesus’s face and the shadow of his head cast on the rock behind him. As always when Jesus began to talk nothing else seemed to matter.
“When you try to make peace always remember this. You deal with the world of dreams, and you deal with God. On the level of the world of dreams everybody acts feel a sense of lack. It’s just as with the money changers and the poor Jews in the Temple. Everyone is trying to satisfy their perceived needs, to fill a void. But in reality there is only one need, one for a test that need to be filled. And that is the loneliness the Son of Man feels because he thinks that he did the impossible and separated from God. It is the same sick insane idea of something that could never really be.”
Jesus looked back and forth at them as a member cracked and pop in the fire. “I spoke mostly with the chiefs and elders. I chose the chief form of one tribe and asked him ‘What do you want from them?’” Jesus said it as though he were pointing at someone reenacting the event. “He answered me saying, that man is a murderer, he murdered my son. I already knew that this was so, but I asked so that you might learn from his answer.” Then the disciples and Mary Magdalene looked around and questioned among themselves, “What can he mean by this?” But Spurio kept his eyes fixed directly on Jesus. “Notice that I asked, what do you want and received instead judgment and condemnation. So, I asked him again what do you want from this man? But he could not answer me. Do these men threaten you when they attack, do you need more security? You see, this was his need. You must go past judgment to perceived needs that are being threatened.
Then I asked the other chief the same question. What do you want of this man?” Jesus pointed to his other side still reenacting it. “They are dogs he told me. But what do you want from them? He could not answer me. Nor would he be able to answer me yet, for he was different from the first chief. His needs were different from the other chief.” They all looked at each other and Jesus, but Jesus looking at the ground shook his head then said, “You see this chief wanted nothing from the other chief. His needs could not be satisfied by the other tribe because he had no needs of them. His need stemmed from this false sense of worthiness to be chief. He was too young and too inexperienced in battle. His father a great warrior had died and he had become chief. In his own try he alone perceives his unworthiness. But he casts that unworthiness like paint upon a canvas onto his own tribe, and then attacks the other tried again and again for what it does not have, it cannot give, that he alone can give himself, through a simple shift in perspective. But now he sees himself through the eyes of the Holy Spirit, seeing himself as he Truly is, as we all truly are, the guiltless the Son of Man.
Again when you mediate conflict, he no attention to judgment, search for perceived lack and fill it. But even doing so realizing it too is illusion, for all lack as a result of a belief in the separation from God that never occurred.” This Jesus spoke to them regarding conflict.
They came the following day to rest in the shade of a large rock and there decided to eat. Spurio could smell the sea air, hidden by the hill to their west. On the other side the sloped gently to the sea. As they sat there Jesus said to them, “We return now to Jerusalem for the religious festival. There I will be taken up by the Romans at the behest of the money changers. And they will seemingly do all manner of things to me.” Spurio felt his stomach coming up through his throat and amongst the astonished disciples there was much agitated discussion. Mary Magdalene remained serene standing to Jesus’s side. Then Simon Peter rushed to Jesus saying, “No, no Jesus don’t go to the festival in Jerusalem, stay away from that place.” Then Jesus put his hand on Peter Simons head and said, “Get out of thee Satan.” Then Jesus turned to them all to say, “You yet lack the discipline so, I remind you that this is all a dream.” Jesus tugged at his arm as he said this. “It is important that you see this and that you forgive this as I have, which is with the eyes of the Holy Spirit. I forgive it realizing that it never happened. Though their bodies may crucify my body in the dream, in truth no one has done harm to anyone because no one is a body. This is the essence of true forgiveness.”
The mood of everybody save for Jesus was much different when they returned to the boat than it had been when they landed it. They had been gone for exactly 30 days and nothing about the world had changed, only their information about it. They each suffered now for separation that was about to come as though it had already happened. The anticipation making it seem real. Jesus reminded them that when the mind thinks about the future he thinks about that which is not and therefore nothing in the future could harm any of them now. But Spurio did not feel better. The same boat which had floated them merrily here seemed now to be a death ship.
They set sail in the late afternoon and Simon Peter sailed the boat directly east until they could see land no more before turning south towards Jerusalem. It became dark around then, but Spurio did not notice the full moon until it was almost straight up in the sky, did not notice it until the clouds came in to obscure it. Then he remembered what Jesus had told him that it would not seem half so grand the next time.
The storm moved in rapidly, the wind picked up and it grew cold. Jesus slept as the rest of them took down the sail threw up the tarps in the slanting rain. Spurio pulled a blanket around himself he thought about the future. The mind cannot think about that which isn’t. Therefore the mind doesn’t think about the future nor the past. And the now is so fleeting that the mind cannot grasp it either. So, there is only Always. That is what Jesus had said, but suddenly Always seemed so very fleeting. Jesus could so easily save himself. With his hand he could waive the Romans and the money changers into the sea. Why didn’t he do it? Spurio wanted to wake Jesus and beg him to do so just as Peter had. But to what end he questioned, merely to be rebuked.
But as Spurio deeply lamented over Jesus’s future, in the cold, as the rain dropped heavy into the hard canvas, a tiny idea of a different sort crept into his mind. It was an awareness of what Jesus wanted for them when he rebuked Simon Peter. It was something more important than the body of Christ, more important than all bodies altogether. Something more important than even happiness here in this world, it was that Jesus wants us to use this to practice our own forgiveness to get out of this world. Jesus was as indifferent to our happiness in this world as he was dedicated to our salvation. This Spurio realized as daylight came but not the sun through the clouds. Yet even as the storm intensified, the clouds did not block out the sun. Spurio lay his big body down on a bed of fishnet and slept.
He was awakened by Thaddeus when they disembarked at Yafo. Spurio looked around himself as he staggered out of the boat. To this see the clouds hung oppressively low to the horizon. To the east lies Jerusalem and somewhere between here and there Jesus would be taken up by the Romans at the behest of the money changers. Spurio felt his mind, he heard its voices. They told him, “You Are going to lose he and you love.” But Spurio neither obeyed nor resisted, neither did he listen to them. He did not notice when he could not hear them any longer. But the gray and melancholy that had seemed so oppressive just moments ago seemed now cool comfort and as he walked. It wasn’t a shift in perspective, but it was a single crucial step.
On the way to Jerusalem there came a man to them saying, “Are you the Christ whom we seek, or shall I ask another.” Jesus stopped walking but did not answer him. Then the man said, “I have a sister who is possessed and only the Christ can save her.” But Jesus perceived his treachery and answered him saying “Return to Nicodemus and tell him that you have found me.” So, the man turned to toward Jerusalem and ran there. To all of the disciples and Mary Magdalene and Spurio there came a grave fear. But Spurio as he had the night on the boat with neither accept nor deny his fear, he simply watched it.
When they came to Jerusalem it was on the day before the Passover festival. A man came to him and said, “You are Jesus the Christ, I saw you in the Temple which the money changers had turned into a market. Come, you and your friends to my home and we shall feast and drink wine.” So, Jesus, the disciples, Mary Magdalene and Spurio went with the man to supper.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% the Last Supper %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Spurio observed Jesus and his disciples and Mary Magdalene at supper. He was across the room from them, much as he had been on the boat. As he listened to the mingling sounds of the supper he pondered his own significance here. Unlike the other 13 Jesus had not chosen him, rather he had chosen Jesus. But when Jesus so inclusive so uniting would have declined no one, why was he the only one to choose Jesus. He couldn’t understand his own question. He was not separate from the group, but more like the object by which the group could observe itself. He was as the third eye by which sees in totality what the other two eyes cannot. As Spurio observed he watched Jesus rise say these words: “Love one another, not as the world knows love which is to gain love in return, but as the Holy Spirit does is simply to love, as I have loved you love the world. The world will not love you in return, but you do not need its love. You need only to forgive the world as it is, as it is not there, this is the way out of the dream. All of you all of your sad suffering brothers and sisters, will make it. Some of you this time, some of you will make it another time, but the Son of Man will make it, there is aught else he can do, he already has made it for by the Grace of the Father the dream is already over. Yet the dream seems to live on until the Son of Man remembers this time to laugh at his own tiny mad idea.
Until then forgive the world and its trespasses. Remember we are all of us figments of a guilt ridden dream. Share many dreams and many lifetimes we are both man and woman, predator and prey, teacher and student and master and slave. But I am telling you the truth that the time will come and is already here that the predator no longer hungers for the prey, and the master is free from his slaves.
Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists – herein lies the peace of God .”
This is what Spurio learned from Jesus, that what is real is real not that which is perceived to be real. A cloud does not put out the sun.
But when Jesus told them that his time had come, despite all his teachings that the world was a meaningless dream a pal was cast across the entire room and into the soul of each and every one of them. Judas Iscariot openly wept. Jesus went to him slowly knelt across the table from him and put his hand on his head. Then he told Judas take the money bag and returned with some wine, some supplies for the festival, then to go and get a prostitute to ease his pain. So, Judas took the money bag and left.
After Judas lacked much sadness remained in the room. So, Jesus took the rest of them and went to the other side of Kidron Brook. There was a garden in that place and Jesus and the disciples and Mary Magdalene went in. Meanwhile Judas found the wine and the supplies for the festival and return with them to where they had the Last Supper. When he found no one there he became very sad. But instead of finding a prostitute as he had thought to do now he thought to find Jesus and be with him. He knew that Jesus would likely be at the garden by Kidron Brook because the disciples had met there with him many times. But with Judas did not know is that the man whom they had passed on the road to Jerusalem was following him. The man whose treachery Jesus had perceived sent someone to fetch Nicodemus and the Romans and they followed Judas to where Jesus was.
The Romans came upon Jesus and the disciples and Mary Magdalene, and Spurio in the garden. Before he even saw them Spurio knew exactly their purpose. Of its own accord his body stood up to block off the Romans from Jesus. But Spurio understood Jesus’s purpose and so he stepped aside to let Jesus come to the front. Pointing to Jesus Nicodemus said, “ That is him there seize him.” Whereupon Jesus still walking forward said, “I am Jesus Christ, if you are looking for him, then you have found me.” He paused and then turning to the others said, “Let these others go.” But Nicodemus remembered what Spurio had done to his money changers in the market and he said to the Romans, “Take also that one there, the big one. And then Spurio as did Jesus allowed himself to be seized and taken away by the Romans. Spurio watched the Romans as they led Jesus away. Jesus disappeared down the road and Spurio never saw Jesus again, ever. They were taking Jesus to Caiaphas the high priest and then to Pontius Pilate and then to be crucified. But they had much different plans for Spurio. And as his ever deepening sadness of missing Jesus mingled with lamentation of the agony he knew that he would endure Spurio still would have lamented just as much over his own, if he could’ve had any idea what it was.

Spurio asks Jesus, why did you choose to be Jesus? Why did you choose to be just the last in a long line of false messiahs? Jesus answers saying I came to correct that long line. Spurio smiled.
The apostles are
Andrew Simon Peter’s brother
Simon Peter = a rock
Philip who he found in Galilee
cana in galilaee
Jesus and Mary after he raises Lazarus
They get married in Cana in Galilee
Everything that was was God and there was not one thing that was not God.
Mary washes Jesus’s feet at the at the dinner with Lazarus.
“Spurio, my poor silly toddler, you were so close, you almost made it this time.” But they were the last words she ever spoke in regret, it was the last felling of something lost that she ever felt, and when she looked back up she would feel no more pain forever.
“Jesus who made the world a small girl asked.” Jesus went to her knelt and told her, space “you did, he did, she did, we all do. It comes from the insanity of all of you. ”
as Jesus was walking along he saw a man who was born blind.
The epitaph to be seen only at a time when the world was to be forgotten