You are not to blame for what I’ve become, You

who abandoned me, wounding me, forever, leaving  me to
Travel from border to borderline between comfortable numbness and stark despair

Alone in my life have I become …


Distant and disconnected from the mother who could not love you, condemned you to feel unlovable, to find love, but not joy, to give love, but not keep it: keeping your distance instead you kept it vague, until you faltered and fled, abandoning us all.

A little girl alone with her witch mother,


Her anguished childhood, lost, to the terror of war, Sharing her, sorrow and shame I see her enduring what I could not have survived,

But you, a frail little girl were resilient, it took her time to break you…

The little girl I never knew, who I am helpless to help, comprehended, or forget.

Who haunts me, following me, She leads teaching me, that

Love is not what you give, it’s who you lose,

keeping only no one to lose I follow her,

losing her, losing her,

I am lost

Loving now only those who won’t let me in I keep them out.
Keeping only what was never mine I have lost no one,
losing no one, living alone.